My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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