Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
