those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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