Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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