the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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