nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
