What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
