Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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