so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
