i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
