quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize