That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
