He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
