Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
