I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
