why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
