need another drink. this is the easiest way
I think I am morally bankrupt
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
