I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize