You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
