i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize