i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
did you just send me my own nude
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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