so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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