you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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