At least make sure they are 18
Why
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
