I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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