I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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