he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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