If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
