So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
