i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
