we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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