Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
