Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize