Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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