I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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