at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
