Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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