This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i think im in europe. pls send help
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
