So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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