i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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