So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
