that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
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If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
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I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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