So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life