Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
i think i just lost a toe