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hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Sacagawea was the original milf.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Randomize
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