hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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