Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.