oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
