Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
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I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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