i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
A bitchslap is in order.
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