I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
