U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Randomize
