don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
