no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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