Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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