D3 body, D1 cock
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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