Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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