My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
