oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
